I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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