he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
