I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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