kristin has been a bad kristin
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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