im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
