dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
