The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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