physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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