I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
