the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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