I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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