i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
