he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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