Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
