Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
there is glitter all over my balls
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
