He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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