Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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