my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
