around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
