Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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