I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
