so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
