this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
3pm strippers are depressing
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
