hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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