Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
