I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just took my morning after pill in the library
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
