I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
