Dual....:-)
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
