im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
