oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
