just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
