Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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