I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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