Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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