Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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