Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I party with great urgency now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
