She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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