I am puke
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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