fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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