She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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