WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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