I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
