she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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