toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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