Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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