i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
