Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
