so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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