i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
