but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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