I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
